Do not dare not to dare.
C.S Lewis
First, I want to express the tremendous amount of gratitude I have for you taking the time out to read what I write. Thank you. I also wanted to say that I am a firm believer when we overcome difficulties we should share the experience to inspire others who are struggling. I have been “saved” by stories told by complete strangers on the internet or on a podcast or in a book. I thank them for having the courage to share their struggles, failures, and their deepest fears.
I also want to call out the people out there in the trenches of the process which is life. I think we don’t celebrate this part of journey enough. It is easy to cheer for those who are at the pinnacle of success, but often we don’t see the struggles it took for them to get there. We don’t see the small business owner sitting in their car after a long unsuccessful day, or the person selling their belongings to afford travel, or the mom staying up way past their kid’s bedtimes to work on her side hustle. These moments are not glorified enough.
So for those out there embarking on a new endeavor, or making a change, or hustling and learning, I celebrate you, keep going.
Why am I talking about this on an Iceland travel site you ask? Because it is through travel that I discovered myself. It it through travel that I was humbled. (Next blog post… How solo vlogging humbled me.)
By driving a camper van alone around a foreign country I embarked on the greatest journey- the journey of self. These experiences have been enriching, humbling, painful, joyous, and inspiring. It is through this that I rediscovered my passion for adventure, variety, exploration, photography, writing, and meeting people. I discovered myself.
This all began with the publication of a little novella called Father of Monsters in 2021. That is a story for another time. For now, I will summarize by saying, that life is a journey, and it takes a damn good sense of humor to appreciate it at times. When we understand perspective, remain curious, and open to life’s mysteries, we experience its gifts to the fullest sense.
I did not always have this view, and the following is a list of life hacks I have put together based on my experiences. I am not trying to sell you anything but inspiration. Apply them all, or just one. It’s worth it.
1. Be Grateful
It all starts with gratitude.
If I look back on some of my achievements I’d admit that I was not grateful enough during the process. In 2019 I crossed the line of my last Ironman. For those who do not know, Ironman is a long distance triathlon which is composed of a 2.6 mile swim, a 113 mile bike ride, and ends in a marathon, a running an arduous 26 miles. All in one day.
Yes, I know. Grueling, and why on earth would someone elect to do this? Not only do we elect, we pay, and allot, to compete in this race which sometimes can take up to 15 hours to complete. For me, I had something to prove to myself. First, it was that I could learn how to swim because before this I was terrified of water.
But to swim 2.6 miles, you kinda have to get over that. The other part was a lot more serious. In 2007 I suffered a near-fatal bicycle accident out in California. If it was not for a park ranger and the Life Flight paramedics, I wouldn’t be here to tell this story.
Following three surgeries to repair my left leg and almost an entire year of physical therapy, I returned to cycling. It began with riding around the local pond, then out on the road for a bit, and not too long after, I returned to my typical 30-40 m. rides. Running, however, remained impossible.
Following my second surgery I felt defeated. I remember laying on the couch, doped up on pain meds, and the Ironman special came on. I was awed. I said to myself, “I want to do this one day.” The seed was planted and it stuck.
So when I returned to my surgeon for my six-month follow-up and he said “You will never run again,” I replied, “We will see about that.”
One year later, after dedicating myself to a 7-day-a-week strengthening routine, I did. On the treadmill at the USMC gym in MCAS Miramar, I began to run. I cried. If I close my eyes I can feel the joy and gratitude I felt at that very moment. It was overwhelming.
I am grateful for my surgeon’s expertise and doomed remark. He did not know it at the time, but he was motivating me. I was grateful for the park ranger, for my PT, for my friends, and for everyone who played a hand in my recovery. I was grateful for my body. The human body is truly a remarkable machine.
The problem is I never expressed it. I think that’s where I have fallen short on gratitude at times and raise your hand if you think you might as well. We feel it, but we don’t acknowledge it, and then it kinda just disappears, never to meet its deserving receiver.
I wish I could find those people now and thank them, really thank them for what they did for me. They gave me my life back.
Fast forward now ten plus years and I had completed three Ironmans, a marathon, over a dozen half ironmans, and an ultra marathon.
I could not tell you what time it took me to complete any of them or how long my swim split was, but I do remember hugging my dad, my number one supporter, before the finish lines. I was grateful at that moment, and it was gratitude I remember most.
When we are grateful, it changes our perspective from I want to what I have.
Something I practice now is keeping a gratitude journal. Every day I write down three things I am grateful for. If I am having a bad day I go back and read some of my entries. Like when I re-read my entries after a bad accident I was involved in, “Grateful today I finally don’t have a headache.” Talk about putting things in perspective!
Start today by keeping a gratitude journal or thank someone, even if it’s just the “guy “who made your morning coffee at the local café. Thank him with authenticity. It will be appreciated by everyone. You can never go wrong with gratitude and its always good to take with you on any journey!
Gratitude requires us to be mindful, which brings me to my next one…
2. Be Mindful
In an age where multi-tasking is rewarded and we have ALLOT of external stimuli, this can be challenging. But talk to any anyone who is immersed in in their work by choice and you will find that they are happy.
The equation is simple: Mindfulness equals awareness equals happiness.
For those who must be behind their devices for work, I would suggest blocking off daily time when you are device-free such as dinner with family, meditation, or exercise. For a creator, like myself, this is challenging when traveling. I want to capture everything on camera, from my morning latte to the epic sunset. I love having memories to look back on, especially video. It keeps me motivated. But now I always make time to put the camera down.
This last trip when the aurora made a surprise appearance I set my camera up on a tripod and made an agreement with myself. A few photos then just watch it. And so that’s what I did. When we are present in the moment, we are fully experiencing it.
Practicing mindfulness may mean putting away the camera, blocking out distractions, or committing to finishing a task before beginning another. It even pertains to eating. How many times do we catch ourselves scrolling on our smartphones during a meal and can’t even recall what we tasted?
Noticed I said practicing because it is a practice. Just like meditation, we may not perfect it every single day, so we practice it.
Every day make some time to be completely focused on what you are immersed in, even if its just that first sip of coffee. Speaking of coffee, let’s talk about joy.
3. Do What Brings You Joy
This is a simple concept that should be easy to adopt yet somehow we are conditioned that this is not the “norm.” Somewhere along human evolution, we were conditioned to believe we are all born and doomed to the same fate:
Work for a living ( a job we may not even like), retire, and then die. And if we are lucky, have some side hobbies to fill our weekends we enjoy. Does anyone else think what the f#*%k when it comes to this?!
Don’t get me wrong…
There are many times in life we must do something we don’t like. Believe me, I have been there, and I still am. This is called responsibilities, and some of these, we can never escape. But dead-end jobs, toxic relationships, careers that suck the life out of us, living for the weekends or just waiting for retirement to live, that’s not living with joy.
Yes, I have been “stuck” in these situations, and here’s the thing….
In many cases, it was my choices that led me to that. Choices that were fear-based instead of life-based, (continue to read on for more on that!)
I believe we are all born with innate talents and unique gifts and these are directly related to our joy. When we are in our joy, we are immersed. If you are not sure what brings you joy, think back to when you were a child, what were you naturally drawn to? For me, it was photography, reading and writing stories, and nature. It is no surprise I have found my way back to these things wishing I did not waste years playing it safe.
There is a purpose to all of our decisions. Even the ones we may consider “poor.” Those poor decisions all taught me something. Sometimes it was a skill I needed that I didn’t realize at the time, or it was simply present to show me what I didn’t want.
Sometimes it is up to use to create joy. My father was an immigrant who sailed from Italy to America as a young boy with nothing. He didn’t even know the English language. Yet when he recalls the voyage here he always talks about how much food there was on the ship.
“It was great,” he said. “Everyone was seasick, and they were feeding us well, yet no one wanted to eat. I wasn’t sick so I got to eat as much food as I wanted.” And for someone who was eating sparrows he caught for dinner in Sicily, this was a treat.
This perspective kept my dad alive during this voyage and I do believe it lent its hand in who he is today- someone who can always just keep going no matter what the circumstances are.
A strange example to use to describe joy, but I believe it was what my father felt while voyaging to America. He wasn’t frightened, he was joyful there was finally some food and new land in site with promises of hope and a brighter future.
This reminds me much of the “Nordic vibe” the Icelanders express. To survive the dark and harsh winters, a good sense of humor and joyful hobbies go a long way.
So joy does not necessarily mean a drastic change in living, it could just mean a little shift in perspective, putting just a little more time into a hobby, or perhaps, finding a new one. I find joy just in my morning coffee or watching the bird feeder on a winter day.
It is never too late to turn it around and rediscover your joy.
It is there waiting for you, and if you are worried about someone’s opinion because your joy is centered around unusual, read on.
4. Stop Caring About What Others Think
I can’t tell you how many times worrying about what someone will think has stopped me from doing something I really wanted to do or try. Or how many times I based a decision on what someone else might think, like family or friends, or how many times I hid what was unique about me because I was afraid people would think I was strange.
The answer is…
Too many times.
A little story for you. From a young age, I was an artist and storyteller. These were the gifts I was born with and I have my parents to thank for reading Peter Pan to me nightly and appreciating my scarily detailed drawings of “ant communities” that I was pumping out at the age of five.
When I was very young I excelled at ballet and had a promising future in the art of dance – but then I was bullied, and so I quit.
I attended high school in an advanced art program. I dyed my hair blue and wore crazy colored tights. But then I was bullied by the popular group and so I quit.
I carried this mentality with me for a very long time, doing my best to “fit in” to the standard of what was expected of me by society, friends, and family. I hate this, but it’s what happened.
Until one day, my passion for writing, dance, art, and Norse mythos surfaced like wildfire. I could not deny how alive this made me feel. I had rediscovered my passions. In 2021 I published my first novella Father of Monsters, which was written in the first-person perspective of a queer Norse god.
The writings continued, as I delved deeper down into my fascination with mythology, the occult, bizarre customs, and strange history.
I lost some friends, yes, but I also gained some, and to my surprise, a few stuck around. Fast forward and I published another longer follow-up novel, blog sites, and even landed contract work with a company to write about Norse mythology.
I wasted too many years giving a f#*@k what people thought, and you know where those people are now- I have no idea.
So stop caring what people think about your closet passion for snow globes, or collecting spoons, or romance novels. Immerse yourself in what you love and it just may take you somewhere amazing.
Stop caring about what other’s think and….
5. Embrace What Makes You Weird
This directly relates to “stop caring about what others think.” Here is the good news, your weird is what makes you special and that is your niche. So instead of hiding your passion for snow globes, think about starting a podcast for one, or a create your own snow globe video for youtube.
Just like my little novella took me places I never dreamed of going, who knows where your niche will. Immerse yourself. Your vibe attracts your tribe.
6. Accept Your Mortality
This is a scary one.
When I entered the water of the 2018 ToughMan Half Ironman, I was terrified I was going to die. I was not the strongest swimmer, and the water was choppy that day. To make matters worse a dense fog had settled rendering visibility very poor.
I panicked as did other swimmers. It was a terrifying moment, and it took a lot of self talk and executing calming techniques I had practiced during training to keep me from losing it, but somehow I managed to regain my composure and finish the rest with my worst times ever.
However, I survived, I learned, and I put more money in my courage bank.
Allot of what happened that day can be related to life.
How many times do we base our decisions on fear? Fear of death, fear of getting hurt, fear of failing, fear of the unknown? I could have quit that day, or even not entered the water. But I knew I was capable. I didn’t know what would happen, but I chose to move forward.
I am not saying we should jump blindly into a situation we are not skilled enough to tackle, however, I’d urge you to sit down and take a real hard look at your life and ask yourself, am I living, or am I just existing?
Every time I overcame a fear and did the thing anyway, I never regretted it. Not everything worked out, but it all made me a better person in the end. I can say though, with certainty, every time I chose the safe way, I regretted it. We usually do this due to external pressures of what someone else believes we should do, or we are afraid to fail.
I write this not to brag about these moments but to inspire, because someone else inspired me, and I believe we are all existing together at this time on this planet because we must use our gifts to….give back.
7. Give Back
This is a simple principle that does not have to involve monetary donations or going completely out of your way to the point where you are overreaching. It takes zero dollars to share a post with someone looking for help or to offer something you are good at to assist someone who is in need. I believe in the power of reciprocity. Give back to your community in the best way you can. Maybe you are a writer, a musician, or an amazing speaker. Or you love animals or helping the poor and there is a local shelter or food pantry in need of a volunteer. Or you are passionate about the environment and there is an annual clean-up in your town. My point is to give selflessly and give only what you can.
Give back and you will see your luck improve.
Bonus: Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Remember, this is all practice. Life is one big practice. We are not perfect, we make mistakes, have mood swings, skip a thank you, skip a workout, or miss a deadline. It happens. Please, don’t be so hard on yourself.
Thank you for reading and I hope this post inspired you like so many have done for me, I am just passing it on, giving back…
